Sunday, July 09, 2006
Who and What Defines You?
As a member of various online groups, I have found myself involved in a wide variety of discussions. Recently, the question arose as to our thoughts about do we feel that how we are treated ultimately affects who and what we will become. I didn’t join in the discussion, but rather took the opportunity to observe the responses of others.
Now let me preface my position by stating that this particular group consists of women of all ages from around the country. Their opinions were as varied as the women themselves. The one constant that became evident, was the fact that each had experienced some form of harassment based on who they were.
Some where ridiculed because they were too light, too dark, too smart, not smart enough, too pretentious, or not pretentious enough. One young lady recounted how she was called a liar because people didn’t believe a dark skinned girl could actually have long beautiful silky hair. Not one of these ladies including myself had been able to escape childhood without having someone else try to define who we were.
As I talk to women of various races, occupations, and ages, the one thing that becomes very apparent is the fact that most do suffer from lack of esteem. The real irony in it all is that the majority don’t even realize it. Even some of the most beautiful women that I know have to be reassured of their looks. I know successful business women who still feel unworthy of all they have accomplished and even some who hold PhDs who still lack confidence.
I have to raise the question, why? Why do so many lack so much? Confidence that is.
It would be easy to blame our mothers, wayward fathers, bad environments, drugs, alcohol and the other various social ills that are so prevalent today. However, again I state, it doesn’t matter the circumstances of where and how you grew up. The problem is still universal.
Too many of us are dissatisfied with who and what we are. Too many of us are trying to live up to standards they have been created and defined by others. Too many of us are failing to love ourselves for who and what we are. Beautiful, successful, loving and intelligent women.
We do not need to tear others down nor should we allow them to tear us down to feel better about ourselves. We need to embrace and love ourselves in spite of what others say or think.
Remember, that true beauty, success, intelligence and love are found within.
Now let me preface my position by stating that this particular group consists of women of all ages from around the country. Their opinions were as varied as the women themselves. The one constant that became evident, was the fact that each had experienced some form of harassment based on who they were.
Some where ridiculed because they were too light, too dark, too smart, not smart enough, too pretentious, or not pretentious enough. One young lady recounted how she was called a liar because people didn’t believe a dark skinned girl could actually have long beautiful silky hair. Not one of these ladies including myself had been able to escape childhood without having someone else try to define who we were.
As I talk to women of various races, occupations, and ages, the one thing that becomes very apparent is the fact that most do suffer from lack of esteem. The real irony in it all is that the majority don’t even realize it. Even some of the most beautiful women that I know have to be reassured of their looks. I know successful business women who still feel unworthy of all they have accomplished and even some who hold PhDs who still lack confidence.
I have to raise the question, why? Why do so many lack so much? Confidence that is.
It would be easy to blame our mothers, wayward fathers, bad environments, drugs, alcohol and the other various social ills that are so prevalent today. However, again I state, it doesn’t matter the circumstances of where and how you grew up. The problem is still universal.
Too many of us are dissatisfied with who and what we are. Too many of us are trying to live up to standards they have been created and defined by others. Too many of us are failing to love ourselves for who and what we are. Beautiful, successful, loving and intelligent women.
We do not need to tear others down nor should we allow them to tear us down to feel better about ourselves. We need to embrace and love ourselves in spite of what others say or think.
Remember, that true beauty, success, intelligence and love are found within.
# posted by Jackie Moore @ 4:24 PM 
